I Won't Leave Him
by ForIHaveOvercomeTheWorld
Summary: Tag to "A Servant Of Two Masters." Arthur's perspective on that episode. Merlin got wounded and we see arthur telling Merlin what he really thinks of him. This is Arthur's thoughts and worries throughout that episode. Twoshot. No slash. Heavy bromance.
1. Chapter 1

Title: I Won't Leave him

Summary: Tag to _"A Servant Of Two Masters." _Arthur's perspective on that episode. Merlin got wounded and we see arthur telling Merlin what he really thinks of him. This is Arthur's thoughts and worries throughout that episode. Twoshot. No slash. Contains heavy bromance and whump, though, only the whump shown in the episode. Also has some missing scenes of why Arthur rode back to Camelot.

_So everyone, hi again. I decided to write a short story about this episode. Basically this is all about Arthur's thoughts and is a chance for me to expound on the bromance. After all, that talk in the forest as well as the hug was just too good not to play off of. This is just the first chapter since I really wanted to post it, I do plan on doing a second chapter for the rest of the episode. This is all from Arthur's point of view but will have Merlin in it. No slash whatsoever as always and I hope you will enjoy._

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><p>Arthur plunged his sword into another man and then turned around to glance at Merlin. During any sort of fight or battle these days he always tried to keep tabs on Merlin's whereabouts just to make sure that the idiot didn't get himself killed while Arthur's own back was turned. And it normally worked. Either Merlin was fine or Arthur managed to kill whoever was attacking him in time. But today wasn't a normal day.<p>

But things had been so crazy lately. A year ago Morgana had betrayed them all and had used magic to take over Camelot. Arthur had had to become Regent in his father's absence since Uther no longer was in control of his mind. And then there had been that whole business with the Dorocha. Arthur had convinced himself to give his life for Camelot, Merlin had nearly died, and in the end Lancelot had been the one who had sacrificed himself.

Then things had seemed to get a bit better. His father began to emerge from wherever he had been and even managed to come to his birthday celebration. But just like that, his father had been stolen from Arthur again, this time, though, by an assassin's blade. Arthur had even sought the help of magic to save Uther, which had only served to further confuse the prince.

But in the end his father had died and he had become king. And the few months since then had been crazier than ever. The only constant presence, the only thing he knew he could count on was Merlin.

And as Arthur turned around and saw the young man lying on the ground, clearly injured, Arthur had felt that last sense of normalcy slip away.

He ran towards Merlin, cutting down any man who dared to get in his way or try to stop him. Arthur didn't think about the mercenaries, or his knights, or any of his old battle instincts that told him to run toward the enemy and not away from them, he only thought about getting to Merlin.

He reached Merlin and gently but swiftly rolled him over and immediately noticed the blood seeping through some of his clothes. The boy was still breathing, and later Arthur would thank any powerful force he could for that, but for now he needed to make sure it stayed that way.

Now that he had checked on Merlin Arthur turned to look at the situation around him. Mercenaries were attacking his men everywhere, but, as far as Arthur could tell, none of the knights had been killed yet. Many of the enemy were rushing in the king's direction and, though the knights intercepted as many of them as they could, Arthur knew that some of them would reach the two any moment.

The king rushed head-on to meet them and in no time at all another five men were dead. Arthur's blood was still boiling in anger over what had been done to his servant and a few men were hardly going to slow him down.

But as much as Arthur would love to stick his sword through the hearts of every man who dared to even look at his wounded servant, Arthur knew he wouldn't be able to properly protect Merlin here. They were too many men and Merlin might medical attention soon.

Though technically his priority was his men and it would be less than honorable to leave them, he knew in his heart that Merlin was more important. He was wounded and could hardly take care of himself on a good day, let alone on a messed up day like today.

"Scatter!" Arthur shouted in the direction of his knights. He had no idea if they heard him over the din of the battle, but at this point he wasn't sure if he cared. He bent down and hoisted Merlin over his shoulders and ran toward the thickest patch of forest he could see. Not a single thought about how it was cowardly to run away from a battle entered the king's mind. His only concern was Merlin and getting him to safety.

Arthur kept going with Merlin on his shoulders and never looked back unless his keen senses or sharp hearing picked up a noise. If an enemy was behind him he would put Merlin down and cut the man to shreds. Not a single man so much as made a dent in Arthur's armor.

Pendragons were known for their quick and powerful tempers and Merlin had been Arthur's idiot servant and loyal friend for over five years—Arthur wasn't going to forgive these men anytime soon. In fact, they hardly slowed him down.

As much as Arthur was unwilling to let Merlin out of his sight in his current condition, he almost wished that he had given the boy to one of the other knights. The mercenaries were obviously after him—which was to be expected since he was the king—and it was possible that Merlin could already be in Gaius' care if someone else had taken him. But it was too late now.

Eventually Merlin seemed to become more aware of the things around him and asked, no, begged to be put down. Arthur couldn't blame him for wanting that, the position was neither dignified nor comfortable since it probably pressed painfully on his wound. Since, by that time, no one seemed to be following them Arthur had agreed. Of course, he still had to support the boy since he couldn't walk more than two steps before falling flat on his face. The downside to Arthur helping Merlin this way was that it was slower, but Arthur found that he didn't really mind since his aching shoulders were now getting a rest. Merlin may have been far thinner than anybody had a right to be, but even so he got heavy after a while.

Arthur was worried, though, because Merlin wasn't talking much as they stumbled along. He seemed pretty lucid, but he wasn't making any of his usual banter. Arthur was afraid that maybe he had lost too much blood or was going into shock. But as he saw Merlin's face tense up and go pale and when he saw the pain in the boy's eyes he realized the reason for his silence. He was trying to hold the pain in. Arthur was actually pretty impressed that the servant had only grunted a few times so far, but hadn't voiced his torment any other way.

So Arthur talked to Merlin, calling him an idiot and telling him that they would soon be back in Camelot and that all they needed was a good night's sleep. He needed to keep Merlin awake and alert and distracted from his pain. And for the most part Arthur's tactics seemed to work.

It was getting to be night and Merlin's strength was obviously failing, even if the boy hadn't said anything. They both required rest and _soon_. Already they had had to hide from the mercenaries twice because Arthur's rage had cooled a bit and he wasn't sure how many he could take on now that he was so tired. Plus, seeing Merlin awake had made Arthur even more protective since the boy couldn't stand up on his own. The king didn't want to risk it. So when he found a place that seemed suitable he leaned Merlin against a log so he could be propped up.

He immediately bent to check the servant's wound. Arthur had seen many grisly and gruesome wounds that hardly affected his stomach at all, but the one on Merlin, while not life-threatening if Gaius got to it soon, made him have to fight to keep what little there was in his belly. It didn't even look that bad comparatively, it was just the fact that it was on Merlin that bothered him so greatly.

And it didn't help that Merlin started talking about dying.

"You're not going to die, Merlin. Don't be such a coward," he said. But he was struck by the stupidity of his own words. Merlin was perhaps the farthest thing from a coward. He'd seen Merlin afraid before, of course—which was actually a good thing since the boy already lacked the required self-preservation instincts limit—but he had never let the fear get the best of him. Fear can save you or it can be your doom, but Merlin seemed to have just the right amount so that he was wary of the dangerous things, yet was not incapable of doing what was necessary even if it terrified him.

Merlin had even faced a dragon for goodness sake. Arthur had called Merlin a coward plenty of times before and had known for a while now that it was a complete lie, but this was the first time that he felt like it was a crime to say so. Maybe it was just because the boy was injured, but Arthur felt guilty for saying such a thing.

"If I _do_ die will you call me a hero?" Merlin asked, interrupting Arthur's thoughts. Of course.

Arthur could only answer truthfully since that was what Merlin needed. He needed to hear the truth while they were joking. "Probably."

"But whilst I'm still alive I'm a coward?" Merlin asked incredulously like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Arthur dimly noticed that some of the usual tones and inflections in the servant's voice were missing. That often happened when they were facing something terrible or daunting, or when Merlin wasn't feeling well. Personally Arthur was just surprised that Merlin could hide the agony he must be in so well. Sometimes there only seemed to be the barest trace of it on his face or in his voice.

Merlin's tone sparked a bit of amusement in Arthur. "That's how these thing work, I'm afraid. You get the glory when you're not around to appreciate it."

Merlin scoffed a bit at the unfairness of it and a small smile spread over his face. "Unless you're the king," he stated.

Arthur was starting to get into the banter now. "Come on, it's got to have some advantages." The king briefly found it strange how he was joking about something that had once seemed so frightening to him. There was a time when he wouldn't have joked about that even with Merlin. But Merlin had helped him so much since his father had died. He was still just beginning to realize the true depth of the servant's loyalty to him. And even though he still woke up afraid of what the day might bring and what disastrous mistakes he might make, he was no longer paralyzed by that fear. Maybe Merlin's bravery was infectious. Besides, whenever he joked with Merlin about something it seemed far less scary.

"You have a very good servant," Merlin said and shook ever so slightly with laughter. But that tiny movement seemed to jostle his wound and the boy turned away a bit and closed his eyes as he tried to contain the pain.

Merlin might have been joking but Arthur wasn't anymore. "You're right, I do. A servant who's extremely brave and incredibly loyal, to be honest. Not at all cowardly." It was strange how easy it was to say something that once he would've only admitted under the most severe of torture. In fact, it was even easier than he had expected, and only the tiniest bit awkward. Though, it did hurt a bit when he saw Merlin looking warily over at him as if he was waiting for Arthur to smile, slap him over the head, and tell him he was talking about a previous servant.

It was sad that Arthur seemed more comfortable expressing his emotions than Merlin these days. He had begun to wonder if maybe he had shunned and distrusted the man who was his best friend for too long. Lately, it seemed, the boy was just waiting for something to go wrong. Whenever anything bad did happen, or Arthur snapped at him when he really shouldn't've, the manservant didn't seem surprised. It had gotten especially worse after Uther had died.

While Merlin had been his loyal companion and faithful friend throughout everything that Arthur did and every mistake he made, it seemed as though he didn't expect that kind of understanding or friendship in return. Merlin had been there for Arthur when he had nearly had an anxiety attack the first morning after his coronation, and had even followed him into an enemy encampment just a few weeks ago. But Merlin didn't think that Arthur would be there for _him_. And that thought hurt Arthur greatly.

"Thank you for saving my life," Merlin said and Arthur heard what wasn't being said. The boy had just accepted Arthur's praise and had acknowledged the friendship behind the statement. Perhaps there was hope yet.

"You'd do the same for me," Arthur replied. Of course, Merlin had already saved his life on many occasions, as well as the lives of many others. Arthur knew, and had always known deep down, that whether or not Merlin physically saved him didn't matter; he had saved him in other ways. Just the support and constant cheerfulness, the firm belief that everything would turn out well, the advice and even the occasional lecture, had all saved Arthur. Merlin had changed Arthur in many ways, some of them subtle and some of them not, and they all had made a huge impact on the way Arthur saw the world and the choices he made. Arthur had a feeling that he would have made a lot more mistakes—possibly fatal ones—if it weren't for his clumsy servant.

Merlin had jumped in front of a Dorocha for him, had drunk poison for him, and had followed him into dangerous territory many times— sometimes without Arthur knowing— and the boy had even ridden out to fight a dragon they couldn't possibly hope to win against with him. When it came down to it Arthur knew that he owed Merlin a lot, and he also knew that the boy would never ask to be repaid.

They sat in silence for a while before Arthur noticed Merlin nodding off. He gently picked the servant up, which elicited a small groan from said unconscious servant, and laid him in the most comfortable position he could. He tried to prop him up a bit in order that the wound had less pressure on it. After he had done all he could for Merlin he lay down himself against a tree right next to him.

He was worried; Merlin was obviously getting worse and he wasn't sure how much longer the boy would last if they couldn't get him to Gaius. Merlin felt incredibly cold to the touch, though, not as much as he had when the Dorocha flew through him, and he was noticeably shivering. The wound might be getting infected or he may just be suffering from blood loss or shock, but whatever the cause Arthur knew it wasn't good. And the king had no idea of whether or not it was a good thing that Merlin's heavy breathing had calmed down. Again, he didn't know if the large and quick breaths were from the pain the servant was experiencing or if there was some other, far worse cause.

Arthur had no food and no blankets; nothing to take care of the boy with. He would even cover him with some of his own clothes if he thought they would do him any good. He wished he could make a fire, but Arthur knew that the light or smell would alert the men searching for them.

He didn't know what to do and he was honestly scared for Merlin's life. As long as he had known the boy the thought of him dying had never been one he could quite comprehend. He couldn't fathom Merlin dying, but at the same time he feared it more than he feared his own death. When the manservant had offered to be the sacrifice in Arthur's place when they were traveling to the Isle of the Blessed Arthur had been terrified by the image that had sprung in his mind. He had nearly lost Merlin mere hours before, and it wasn't going to happen again. But what had scared him most was that Merlin's acceptance of Arthur's rejection to his offer had been quite calm and quiet. Almost as if it hadn't changed a thing.

But this was the present with Merlin wounded and vicious men hunting for them. Arthur Pendragon had left his men alone in an attempt to save Merlin and he was going to get that boy back home no matter what it took. With that thought in his head Arthur fell asleep.

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><p>The first thing that went through Arthur's mind when he woke up was a prayer that it had all been just a dream. That maybe he was now in his own bed and Merlin was going to come and throw open the curtains with an annoying cheerfulness. Arthur hoped with all his might that Merlin wasn't wounded and that they weren't hiding in the forest from some mercenaries.<p>

But then he heard a snapping and rustling sound that he instantly knew didn't come from a rabbit. It wasn't a dream. His eyes shot open and Arthur turned his head to look at Merlin who was already wake and clearly much worse.

Arthur looked around and got up and sheathed his sword. "I'd love to say that we could stay here and rest, but another ten minutes and we'd be mercenary-mincemeat." He reached down and pulled Merlin to his feet since the simple fact that the boy hadn't moved yet proved that he was incapable of standing, and hoisted him over his shoulders. He felt bad as he heard Merlin groan and didn't doubt that the movement had hurt badly.

"Leave me," Merlin said.

"Now's not the time for jokes," Arthur responded absent-mindedly. His thoughts were far away trying to think of the best way to avoid their would-be killers.

"Please leave me," Merlin pleaded again and Arthur was dimly reminded of when Merlin had been dying of the Dorocha attack and had asked to stay with Arthur.

"Sure," Arthur said mockingly, "whatever you say."

Arthur wasn't going to leave him; he still remembered his vow from last night. Two basic instincts now had almost complete control of Arthur's mind. The first was from all his training to be a knight—it was his battle and survival mode. And the second was something that came just as naturally to him even though he hadn't been doing it as long as his training—his instinct to banter and fight with Merlin. Those two were the dominate forces governing Arthur right now, and next to nothing could break him out of it until he believed that the danger was over.

But his protection of Merlin went far deeper than any instinct. It was a code, a part of him. Leaving Merlin behind had really never occurred to him since it would be like coming to the decision to stop breathing. The thought of sacrificing the boy to give himself a better chance at survival just wasn't conceivable to the king, and it never would be. Arthur wasn't listening to Merlin's pleas; the boy was injured, helpless, and far too loyal for his own good, and Arthur would be damned if he would leave his friend alone out here unless he had no other choice.

He rushed off with Merlin slung over his shoulder and tried his best to avoid the mercenaries. He noticed that Merlin was groaning a lot more and from the few glimpses he had gotten of the servant's face he was almost deathly pale. The boy _had_ to get to Gaius soon.

He they had just entered a long ravine when Arthur saw a man rushing toward them from the other end of it. He quickly put Merlin down as far out of the way as he could manage—ignoring the horrible sounds of the boy's pain, but paying attention to his obvious helplessness—and turned to fight the man. He met him and attacked with all his might, but as soon as he had taken him down another one appeared from behind him. He swiftly dispatched him, too. Another man, also dead.

Many men ran out from the other end of the ravine nearest Merlin speeding towards Arthur. The king prepared himself to fight them off, but then over the roars and cries of the mercenaries he heard an ominous cracking and rumbling sound.

"MERLIN!" He cried out as a huge bolder fell in front of him—blocking him off from the man he'd sworn to see safely home—and was forced to stumble back as more large rocks fell and completely cut of his view of Merlin.

Arthur stood there for a moment, staring at the stone wall with his arm still outstretched. He couldn't believe what had just happened. Merlin was now at the mercy of those mercenaries, unless they ignored him and just continued hunting for Arthur as the king hoped.

He had failed Merlin. He had no idea why or how those rocks had fallen right at that moment, but he did know that Merlin was injured and on his own. He had promised to himself and to Merlin that he would get him back home. So much for his promises.

Arthur knew that if he was going to get to Merlin he'd have to go in a roundabout way so as not to attract the mercenaries. He didn't exactly want to bring them to Merlin, after all. So Arthur began to make his way towards where he had last seen Merlin, but due to the route he was taking it could be hours before he arrived on the other side of that stone wall.

Arthur had only been walking for thirty minutes when he heard a rustling sound not unlike what he had heard that morning. As he watched for any sign of movement he saw a flash of red and silver. A huge grin appeared on his face as his knights all came into view walking warily through the forest. On a good day he might've played a game with them and would have tested the limits of their training, but he was exhausted and so far it hadn't been a very good day.

He walked up behind them surprised that they hadn't heard him by now and wondered if maybe his training had kicked anyway despite his intention to show himself. Abruptly they all whirled around with their swords pointing at him. Arthur had to bring his sword up to deflect Leon's.

"Nice to see you, too," he said. Now that he was with his men he found that his strength reserves were failing and he was getting more and more tired. Carrying Merlin's deadweight around for most of the day yesterday hadn't done him any favors. Plus, he hadn't gotten much of a goodnight's sleep what with all the worrying and the knowledge that there were men looking for him. _And_ he hadn't eaten in a while. Yeah, he was tired.

While Leon, Percival, and Elyan greeted him with light slaps on the back or clasped his hand and said that it was good to see him, Gwaine ignored all of that and went straight for the problem.

"Where's Merlin?" his question was more of a demand.

Arthur wasn't sure if he wanted to tell them just now, but he knew how protective of Merlin Gwaine was and had a feeling that the strong man would strangle it out of him in an instant if he believed anything to be wrong. So he answered, "He's not with me. I lost him." He looked away from the gazes of his men. He already felt guilty enough about losing the one person who he had to look after. He had basically abandoned his men in order to keep Merlin safe and now that all seemed pointless.

"What do you mean?" Gwaine asked as if he couldn't believe what he had heard, "How do you lose Merlin? The boy can't walk through the woods without making a racket to save his life."

Arthur looked up at him and stared straight into his eyes. "We were attacked. I put him down to fend them off and…it was the strangest thing…the rock wall of the ravine we were in collapsed…separating me and Merlin. I didn't want to risk drawing them to him so I had to circle around a bit. I was just going back for him. He must be still there; he was too weak to even lift himself off the ground when last I saw him."

"What?" Gwaine practically yelled, "Merlin is out here alone in a mercenary-infested forest, wounded and—"

"Sire, if I may, I don't believe he's still there," Leon interrupted Gwaine's tirade. "We passed by the ravine you spoke of and even went through it. We would have noticed if Merlin was there, and even if we didn't, surely he would've called out to us. Arthur, I believe we should head back to Camelot." Leon looked quite regretful at the end.

"No," Arthur said without giving it even a moment of thought, "I'm not leaving him out here. He's just a servant, Leon, and a wounded one at that. He's the last person who should be left alone out here."

"Yeah, Leon mate, what are you thinking?" Gwaine asked incredulously, though Arthur was just thankful that his anger had focused on someone else, "I agree with the King, we can't just abandon Merlin."

Arthur winced; apparently Gwaine was still mad at him since he only ever addressed him respectfully when he was really not happy with him. He and Merlin were a lot alike in those respects, and others.

"I didn't mean that we should just forget about him, sire. I merely meant that we should go back to Camelot to regroup. We are only five men in a forest full of mercenaries, and your presence may just endanger Merlin further, Arthur."

The king inwardly flinched at the reminder.

"If we went back to Camelot," Leon continued, "then we could send out many more men in search of him. We are tired and without even the most basic provisions and it could take us quite a long time to find him. It would be far better for Merlin if we headed back instead of searching for him while we're dead on our feet."

While the logical and strategic side of Arthur saw the wisdom and truth in what Leon was saying, Arthur's heart, which had finally started surfacing properly, was screaming at him to stay. He just didn't know if he could bear to leave this forest without Merlin. The boy had become his greatest friend, his un-credited advisor, his shoulder to metaphorically lean on, and the best and most loyal servant anyone had ever had. And he was only just starting to realize how much he owed the boy.

Merlin had begged and pleaded with him to be left behind. It didn't even seem as if the idiot had even had to think about it; he had just offered to be sacrificed so that Arthur might escape as if it was natural. The boy didn't even have to think about giving his life for his master, and Arthur would bet almost anything that when those rocks had fallen Merlin had been glad. Merlin's loyalty to him never seemed to waver for a moment, while Arthur's trust and respect in him often had. Many times Arthur had been unfair or unjust and even cruel to the boy on occasion, but Merlin never stopped coming to help him when he needed it most. And even when he didn't.

Arthur just didn't think he could abandon Merlin whose friendship and loyalty he still needed. Merlin was one of the few constant presences in his life, and he didn't know what he would do without him.

Gwaine seemed to read the indecision on Arthur's face because he said, "He's right, Arthur, we can do more for him in Camelot. By staying here we might be hurting his chances of survival. Whether he walked away or one of the mercenaries took him it will help to have more men. What if we come across him and he's been captured but we're not strong enough to rescue him? We need to go back."

Arthur sighed and looked in the direction where he had last seen his friend. "All right," he said turning back to his men and putting on his leader mask, "we head back to Camelot."

They all started walking back and Arthur heard Leon saying that he knew where their horses were, but his mind wasn't on that. His mind was with the boy he somehow knew wasn't anywhere nice. _I made a promise, Merlin, and I intend to keep it._

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><p><em>I hope you liked it. Please review because I might never finsih this story otherwise. As it is I have no idea when I'll have time to post the next chappy. Since I probably won't see you until after Happy Thanksgiving! <em>


	2. Chapter 2

_So yeah, I realize this was a kinda long wait, but I was having some inspiration troubles. However, it's done now and I like it, so I hope you will, too._

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><p>As Arthur rode back with his knights to Camelot, he prepared himself for the council meeting he was going to have to have, and, more importantly, for telling Gaius that they had no idea where Merlin was.<p>

In the forest, first around Merlin and then around his knights, he had been far more comfortable showing his emotions and even expressing them. But he was going back to Camelot now, the place where he was King and he couldn't afford to show anyone exactly the depth of his feelings. He had decided since his father's death that he wouldn't be known as the cold and emotionless ruler, but instead would let his people know that he shared in their grief, pain, or joy, or whatever else they felt. But even though he would show some of himself to his people, he still couldn't let them truly know what it was like for him, and he most assuredly couldn't let them see weakness. They needed to believe that their lives were in the hands of a strong king.

He was going to have to inform Gaius of his ward's disappearance without allowing the panic, fear, self-anger and guilt, or the desperation to bleed through. And so, as he rode back to his home that really wasn't his home without Merlin, he hardened his face into the mask that he had created for himself a long time ago. He needed to be strong both for the sake of his people and for his missing friend.

As he pulled his horse to a stop in front of the castle he quickly dismounted and began to walk quite purposefully towards the council chambers. He was so intent on getting the matter of Merlin dealt with as soon as possible that he didn't even notice that Gwen had been hurrying towards him until she saw the look of determination on his face.

She went over to Leon. "What is it? What's wrong? Is something the matter with Arthur?" she asked the concern evident in her voice and on her face.

The knight sighed but before he could speak Gwaine piped up sounding rather annoyed and angry. "No, not with Arthur, no. All his Precious Princess needs to worry about is picking out some bootlicker to be his new servant." Though his words seemed quite angry, Gwen could tell that he was more tired and worried than anything else.

"What about Merlin? Where is he?" Gwen asked as she read between the lines.

"We were forced to leave him behind, Gwen; that's why Arthur is acting this way. None of us wanted to," Elyan answered his sister in a calm voice. The two siblings were very much alike in their tendency for patience and grace in almost all situations.

Gwen turned and looked anxiously at the last glimpse of scarlet disappearing as Arthur all but ran away.

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><p>Arthur took a sip of something he really couldn't taste as he waited for everyone to assemble. He was tired, hungry, and very dehydrated and yet all he could think of was Merlin. If <em>he<em> felt bad he couldn't even imagine what his servant was going through right now or what was happening to him. The thought that perhaps something was being done to him if indeed he had been captured by the bandits caused Arthur's stomach to flip over unpleasantly. Merlin was servant to a King, Arthur knew what that meant. It meant that Arthur's many enemies might see the advantage in holding Merlin, whether as a hostage or as a source of information.

Arthur had to cut off his thoughts at that before he threw up and passed out from the wave of nausea that the idea of anyone hurting Merlin to get to him produced.

Composing himself he turned to face the doorway where he noticed Gaius entering the room.

"Where's Merlin?" the old man asked immediately upon not seeing the boy.

Arthur shuffled slightly, the fear and worry that was tangible in the physician's tone already causing his guilt to increase. But he wasn't about to leave the guardian in suspense over his ward, so he answered right away. "He's alive...last I saw of him he was still alive." He wasn't about to lie to Gaius. As far as he knew Merlin was alive, but he was aware of the very real possibility that he wasn't, though, it didn't mean he had to accept that very logical fact. He still outright refused to even think that Merlin might be otherwise.

He couldn't miss the look of fear and pain that came over Gaius' face at his words. Arthur had only been in Camelot for a few minutes and already he had waited too long. Merlin was his friend and Gaius was his trusted advisor and ally, they deserved whatever help Arthur could give them. And much more. He turned to his men, specifically Leon. "Dispatch patrols at first light. Scour every inch of that forest," he ordered.

"Yes sire," Leon said and then left. The knight had been very aware that Arthur was going to keep every man under his command looking for Merlin until he was found. Now it looked like he had been right.

Arthur walked over to Gaius. He was so sorry that he hadn't brought Merlin home safely and he didn't think his guilt over everything that had happened would ever fade away, even when Merlin got back. Because he would come back…Arthur had to believe that he would. "We'll find him Gaius," he said, putting his arm on the old man's shoulder, "we will," he promised. It was a promise he had already made, but this time he was making it also to Gaius. The man had served Camelot faithfully for many years; it was the least Arthur could do.

He walked out of the chambers and went to his room, a place where he could think openly without having to guard his face and expressions.

He had already decided that going back to search for Merlin himself may very well prove disastrous for the servant, but it didn't mean that he liked it. He stared out his window and watched the comings and goings in the courtyard down below and for the first time in a while found no peace in it.

Whenever he was stressed or worried, or just plain not feeling well he would often look out over Camelot and admire the awe-inspiring kingdom. Of course, his little view from his window hardly provided him with a lookout over all of Camelot, but he did get to see what he loved most about his home. The people. All his life he had been fascinated just by watching ordinary and unusual people alike go about and live their lives. He found it calming to see all the trivial and important things that happened in the courtyard. He would see the people bustling about and just…living. It reminded him of what it would mean—now meant, of course—to be king. It reminded him of exactly what he fought to protect and what he lived to serve. Arthur remembered a conversation he and Merlin had had ages ago.

"_Merlin! You're the servant! You don't make the rules, I do," Arthur exclaimed. Merlin was once again way overstepping his bounds, but Arthur secretly enjoyed it because he always found it amusing. _

"_Nah," Merlin said in that incredibly insolent way of his. "You're a servant, too, just a different kind. If you get to make rules then why can't I? Who knows? It might actually be nice for once to have someone with a brain running things around here." _

_Arthur was shocked on several levels at what Merlin had said. Firstly there was the typical insult to his intelligence, which he always pretended to get indignant at. And then there was Merlin implying that he actually had a brain himself, and Arthur had long since come to the conclusion that Merlin had been born without one. And then there was the comment about how Arthur was the same as Merlin, a servant. _That _bit Arthur really didn't understand._

"_What do you mean I'm a servant, too?" Arthur half shouted and half asked. "What does that mean in your witless mind? I am NOT a servant. Servants look like you and bumble around and have no skills or grace at all. Or maybe that's just you." _

_A strange look came over Merlin's face, as if he was battling whether to continue in their comical banter or whether to be serious. In the end, serious won out. "Arthur…you are a servant or, at least, you should be," Merlin said slowly._

"_And why is that exactly?" Arthur asked, but he was losing some of his outrage. He'd seen that look on Merlin's face before and heard that tone. It meant that Merlin was probably about to say something shocking and profound that would totally mess with Arthur's view of his manservant. Despite himself, though, he was curious. _

"_Well," Merlin said as he shuffled a bit and avoided Arthur's gaze and began to clean the prince's table. "The way I figure it…a prince or a king is just another word for the greatest servant ever. Think about it, a good king would take care of his people, protect them, and see to their needs. He would defend their homes from attack and put their needs and desires before his own. I grew up in Ealdor, which is just inside Cenred's kingdom. Cenred cares about no one but himself, and if he ever helps anyone it's because it benefits him. He is not a good king. A king shares in the joys and sorrows of his people and will help them to the best of his ability even if it means sacrificing something of his own. A true king does not gorge himself while his people are starving in the middle of a famine, but he suffers with them. _

"_And a prince is the same way. Arthur, you ride out to protect your people from harm even though you know that you could get hurt yourself. You train until your hands bleed just so that when the time comes you will be able to save them. Arthur, you drank that poison knowing full well that you would die, but that didn't matter to you because you knew that the curse would be lifted from Camelot. _

"_I suppose that I've always just thought of a king or a prince as being one who serves his people. Someone who puts the needs of his subjects above everything else and who dedicates his life to serving them. At least, that's what a good king and prince would be like. What they _should_ be like."_

Though Arthur had never told him, the things Merlin had spoken of that day had become the principles of Arthur's very life. Of course, some part of him had always believed in protecting and serving his people, but it wasn't until Merlin had spelled it out for him that he really took it to heart. Merlin was right; the true definition of what the royal or noble families were supposed to be was 'servant'. Arthur had often based his actions and thoughts in the belief that at the end of the day his purpose was to help his people to the utmost of his ability. And when he had been crowned king he had vowed to himself that he would always do what was best for his subjects before anything else.

Since Merlin had appeared in Arthur's life he had changed him, how he thought, how he acted, and really who he was. Arthur knew that his memory of Merlin explaining what a king was to him was just one example of how Merlin had changed him. Despite what he always said, Arthur knew that he could have no greater servant. Sometimes he wished that he was as good at serving and being selfless as Merlin was.

Indeed, Merlin's innocence was part of the reason Arthur found it so calming to stare out his window. Often he would watch Merlin pass through the courtyard and would observe the way the boy would stop and talk and smile at many people. Sometimes they seemed to be people he knew, other times Arthur could tell that Merlin was being kind to someone he had never met before.

When Arthur had first seen Merlin pass by down below he had believed it to be an opportunity to spy on his servant and perhaps learn something he could use against him. If he saw his servant slacking off then it would be the perfect chance to lecture him and then pile even more chores onto his workload. But then he had seen Merlin stop and help someone who had dropped some things. It had been a woman and as Arthur had taken a good look at her he had seen that she had been crying. At first he hadn't been sure whether Merlin the idiot had noticed it or not, but soon the prince had smiled as he caught on to what his manservant was doing. Instead of asking the woman what was wrong, which would most assuredly have had her saying she was fine and then brush it off, Merlin had chatted and smiled and joked with the woman until she was laughing and forgetting whatever her troubles were. And when Arthur had finally observed Merlin walking away from the woman he hadn't missed how she was glowing with happiness and how Merlin seemed very satisfied.

That had been when Arthur had learned of Merlin's kindness and good deeds to even the most distant of strangers. From that day on Arthur had observed Merlin helping and smiling and sympathizing with whoever needed it. It just seemed to come naturally to the boy. Of course, there were some days where Merlin simply walked from one end of the courtyard to the other without stopping at all, but those instances were almost just as fascinating to watch as the others due to Merlin's walk. The idiot really did have a sort of funny jaunt and Arthur had often wondered if the strange walk caused the boy's clumsiness or if the clumsiness caused the odd walk. And to this day Arthur still didn't know the answer to that one.

Obviously, Arthur didn't spend most of his time servant watching—he was far too busy and important for that—but on the occasions that he happened to he found that staring at the normal, bustling life down below, as well as the unusual kindness frequently displayed by a certain servant, gave him a sense of peacefulness, which, of course, was why it wasn't working today.

He had seen Merlin conquer and settle much of the strife or unhappiness he had come across to the point where people would purposely bump into him just so that they could be calmed by his warming smile, but now that smiling and laughing boy was nowhere to be found. There was a noticeable change and difference in the atmosphere with his manservant gone and it just wasn't something that could be replaced.

There could never be any doubt that Merlin was odd and unique, but sometimes what Arthur had valued most about him was his innocence. He spent his whole days around knights and nobles who had been hardened by battles or the trials of life, and yet Merlin was the one exception to that. Merlin didn't let the hard things of life get to him and, despite himself; Arthur admired and envied him for that quality. Sure, the boy knew how to be serious and Arthur had seen him scared, a bit depressed, sorrowful, and in pain, but still he bounced back.

Arthur leaned his head against his windowpane and sighed. His thoughts were going around in circles. He needed to get Merlin back but he had no idea where he was. He had wanted to send his knights out right away, but he knew that they needed rest and food if they were going to be scouring anything or helping anyone. But Arthur couldn't help but think that the time between now and first light might be Merlin's undoing. He didn't know what to do, what _he_ could do. He hated feeling helpless.

Abruptly he heard a gentle knock on his door that broke him out of his depressing thoughts. "Come in," he called.

The door opened and Gwen slowly stepped in. Arthur instantly smiled upon seeing her and crossed the distance between them. "Guinevere, how are you? I'm sorry, I should have checked on you."

"Arthur, I'm fine, but I'm worried about you…and Merlin," Gwen replied.

Arthur's face fell slightly at the mention of Merlin; he didn't need to be reminded of the absent presence. But Gwen continued.

"I heard that Merlin's missing, oh, Arthur, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?" she asked.

Arthur found the concern in her voice touching and reassuring, but he hated his answer. "I'm afraid that there is nothing you can do, Gwen, but I'm sure that Merlin would be glad to know that you're worried about him. Maybe when he gets back you can tell him that and he'll walk around with a stupid grin on his face for days afterwards." Though Arthur's words were joking there was barely more than a hint of humor in his tone.

But Gwen was a very clever and insightful girl and she could tell what Arthur was thinking. "They'll find him, Arthur, the knights will find Merlin and he'll be fine. I know it. Merlin is very loyal to you, Arthur; I don't think he'll let anything get in the way of serving you. Merlin's probably just hiding from the bandits right now and when he sees the knights he'll come out and they'll take him home." She smiled reassuringly.

"I just wish I could go out and find him…my armor needs polishing," Arthur said hesitantly. He knew he could say anything to Gwen; still, it was a bit difficult to admit that Merlin was his friend in her presence, but he was getting there.

Gwen gave him a look and Arthur knew he hadn't fooled her one bit. "I wish I could, too. But the knights will ride out soon and everything will be fine. The knights are friends with Merlin as well, and I don't doubt that Gwaine will search until he finds him."

Arthur couldn't believe that she was comforting him! For a moment he had forgotten that she had been Merlin's friend just as long as Arthur had. She was probably worried sick like Gaius, he shouldn't be pouring out his troubles to her; he should be helping her get through this. And yet Arthur knew that this was why she had come to see him because she had wanted to comfort him. Arthur was starting to wonder if it was a trait of all the servants in the castle to be kind and selfless.

He sighed. "Thank you, Gwen." Arthur kissed her gently and eventually, and with great reluctance, pulled away.

"You're tired, Arthur," Gwen said after she had gotten her breath back, "you should rest."

Arthur wanted to argue with that, but unfortunately he was _really_ exhausted.

"I'll have some food brought to you," Gwen said as she left.

Arthur sighed once more and plopped on his bed and put his head in his hands. Wherever Merlin was he hoped that the boy was at least comfortable—considering his condition when last seen even that wasn't very likely.

* * *

><p>It was exactly thirty-six hours later that Arthur heard something he couldn't accept.<p>

"We have scoured the forest," Agravaine said sounding very exhausted.

"Then scour it again," Arthur said immediately, not even giving his answer a second thought. He had long since decided that he was going to have his men keep searching for a month if they had to in order to find Merlin.

"Sire," Leon said, "there was no sign of Merlin." There was a definite tone of finality in his voice. Arthur knew what the knight was trying to say, if they hadn't found a clue as to Merlin's whereabouts then they weren't likely to.

Arthur put his head in one of his hands and tried to banish the idea of never finding Merlin from his mind, and instead tried to think of anyplace he might be. Since meeting him he had already failed Merlin several times, he didn't think he could handle it if he failed him again, especially in this.

"None," Agravaine said as he walked to Arthur's side, "but this." His black-gloved hand laid something down on the table ominously.

For a moment Arthur couldn't comprehend what he was seeing, and then he recognized it as a piece of fabric that could only belong to one particular idiot.

The scrap of cloth was small and yet the bloodstains on it seemed painfully large. Arthur clenched his jaw and for the first time since his father's death he found moisture pricking at his eyes. The water in his eyes had to be from exhaustion, something in Arthur's brain kept telling him, but he didn't care. However, he wasn't about to let them show in front of his men. He tried to hold the anger and frustration and loss he felt inside of him, and, because of his many years of practice, he succeeded.

"I'm sorry you've lost such a loyal and—" Agravaine began, but Arthur held up an arm to stop him from continuing.

For some reason his uncle's words made him angry. He knew what he was implying, what they all were implying, but it simply wasn't true. Merlin wasn't dead. Arthur had seen Merlin's wound before in the woods. It had obviously bled. The bit of cloth must have had gotten caught in some branches or something and torn off. One piece of fabric that was bloody—no doubt from the wound Arthur _knew_ existed—did not mean that Merlin was dead or beyond hope. Arthur internally gave a grim chuckle at that, Merlin _was_ beyond hope—he was bloody-awful servant.

But Arthur simply refused to jump to the conclusions everyone else had, even though the sight of the cloth still made him feel ill.

But Arthur tried to pull himself together. He would send the knights out again, and as many times as was necessary; however, they would be more willing and motivated if he didn't push them too far. He would pretend to think it over and talk to them later about it.

He looked up slightly. "The mercenaries. What news of them?" he asked; trying to distract himself from what was now his least favorite topic in the world. The thought of Merlin being dead.

"We found no trace, sire," Leon answered.

"Surely sent by that snake Alinor," Aravaine said with all hints of sympathy or sadness gone as his anger at their enemy resurfaced.

"It can't be!" Arthur replied a bit sharply. "How? Our route was only known to a few _within_ Camelot."

Arthur knew what Leon was going to say even before he said it. After all, the same thought was in his own mind. "Then there is only one conclusion we can draw," Leon stated firmly. "We have a traitor in our midst."

Many seemed shocked; others seemed to react to the ominous and eerie meaning of the words. But Arthur just felt angry. And he wasn't just angry because someone had betrayed him and the whole of Camelot, no, he was angry because whoever had betrayed him had caused Merlin to get wounded and left behind. This traitor had betrayed Merlin as well and now Arthur knew that he ever came face to face with the man that had caused Merlin's pain, Merlin's suffering, Merlin's current loneness and isolation from everyone he cared about, he would kill him.

Merlin was Arthur's friend and he knew without a doubt that the boy would never betray him, that he would always be loyal, and the king found it sickening that someone who was the exact opposite of Merlin's kindness and love would do _this_ and that Merlin would have to pay the price.

_Life, _Arthur thought, _is really not fair._

* * *

><p>The rest if the day passed by agonizingly slowly. He couldn't concentrate on anything except what might be happening to his servant right now or if his servant was dying alone in the harsh forest with every moment that Arthur spent in ease and comfort in his castle. Arthur would sit and stare at reports and papers for hours without really being able to see them no matter how ridiculously hard he tried to focus on them. After the meeting had ended, Arthur had attempted to organize a search for the traitor or at least have someone bring him a list of all the people that had known which route they were going to take, but he couldn't. He had trouble talking clearly or with confidence and found that he couldn't make decisions or give commands like he used to. And <em>that<em> was when he realized exactly how hopeless he was.

He couldn't be a king or order people about without Merlin there. Even if the idiot wasn't physically present as long as Arthur knew he was in Camelot and being his incompetent and annoying self, Arthur knew what to do. But without Merlin there he suddenly felt as if his whole world didn't make sense anymore. Arthur realized that he didn't know who he was without Merlin—not only because Merlin's presence reminded of the two things he should never be, an idiot or a prat—but because Merlin's strong morals and strange ability to always be there for him and shaped the king in many ways. If Merlin had never appeared in his life he would be a lot different, and now all he could think about was what was missing. Merlin's idiocy and kind heart always had seemed like a compass for Arthur—even if he hadn't always followed it—and now he seemed directionless.

Arthur rubbed his tired eyes and gave up on the reports. He decided to go to bed. Maybe things in the morning would be better…or maybe all of this would just turn out to be a dream.

* * *

><p>Arthur dressed quickly and tried the shake the feeling of wrongness away. He had woken up to be served by the most competent and boring servant he had ever come across. He never thought he would put Merlin next to someone and think "normal". But though Merlin was far from normal he was far <em>more<em> regular than someone who laughed and talked about brass and seemed to have no personality whatsoever.

At first it had been a bit nice to be treated with respect and to actually be served by someone who could do his job properly, but he had quickly realized that he would be bored to death in less than a day of it. But that wasn't the reason he had jumped out of bed and was about to ride out on an empty stomach. No, the reason for that was that seeing George doing Merlin's job had felt incredibly w_rong_ to him. And it wasn't because the servant hadn't pulled him out of bed like Merlin usually did, either.

It felt wrong because no matter how clumsy or idiotic or lazy Merlin was he was Arthur's friend and loyal servant and Arthur was _not_ okay having anyone else at his side. Merlin _belonged_ here and no one else could replace that sunny cheerfulness or that unfathomable loyalty or the snarky remarks that came _just_ when Arthur needed them most. Arthur remembered how he had felt the day before, as if his whole world was just an untidy mess and, ironically enough, he needed Merlin back in order to tidy it. Even though the boy could be a rubbish servant he was a wonderful friend, the kind of friend that Arthur knew most people couldn't find in a hundred lifetimes.

So Arthur had bolted from his bed when he had remembered why his servant wasn't there. Merlin needed his help, and Arthur was going to be damned if he was going to wait any longer to give it to him.

Unfortunately Arthur's rush to leave was making it harder to dress himself, especially considering that he normally didn't dress without someone helping him. But he flat out refused to let George help him because that horrible feeling of wrongness still plagued him. It seemed that someone was trying to replace Merlin by the simple act of sending him another servant, and that made Arthur angry.

Eventually Arthur managed to put everything on right and he strode out of his room in full riding armor to the stables. He had already sent George to make sure that a horse and some provisions were prepared so he didn't anticipate having to wait at all. He wasn't sure how long he was going to be gone, but he knew that he wouldn't come back without Merlin.

But Arthur felt a sinking feeling in his gut as he saw Guinevere appear in the hallway ahead of him. If anyone could dissuade him from his present course it would be Gwen. But he steeled himself and vowed not to let anything stop him. Even her.

"You're riding out to find Merlin?" she asked in the worried and concerned voice that often made his heart feel as if it were breaking.

He guessed she must have found out from Gaius since he had sent other servants to inform the council and Gaius—since there were still plenty of people who didn't think Gaius was a part of the council despite the fact that it was the truth—that he was leaving and might not be back for some time. "Yes, Gwen, you heard correctly." Part of him hated sounding so cold to her, but he knew that he could not allow himself to melt otherwise she would break down his walls and Merlin would remain lost forever.

"You shouldn't go. I know you care about him," she said, pleading. "I am as worried about Merlin as you are."

"You're not going to change my mind," Arthur replied as he descended the castle steps into the courtyard.

"Who knows if the mercenaries have even left the forest?" Gwen argued, though, she was unaware that she wasn't helping her case at all. If the mercenaries were still there then Arthur wasn't about to leave Merlin to them, not again.

"I _have_ to go," Arthur said, finally turning to look at her. He quickly looked away from her after trying to convey with his eyes how important this was to him, if he looked at her too long he might break.

"The patrols found no sign of him." Gwen sounded teary and desperate at this point. Arthur knew that she loved both of them and that this conversation was hurting her. He guessed that the only reason she was pleading with him so was because she had given up hope that Merlin could be found.

That made Arthur feel a bit angry, that she had given up, though, not angry at her. "Do you really expect me to accept that?" he asked no longer caring about staring into her powerful gaze. "Just to sit here and take their word that Merlin's gone? I won't rest until I at least _try._"

"I know just…do one thing for me, please don't go alone." _Oh, how could he refuse that?_

"He won't be going alone," a voice said from somewhere behind them.

Arthur turned around exasperatingly and saw a smug Gwaine already on his horse and grinning proudly. He turned back to Gwen. "See? Now you've condemned me to a day of mindless chatter."

"Good," Gwen replied, sounding very content with herself.

He put his hand on her shoulder. "I will return," he promised seriously.

"You'd better," she said and Arthur got the impression that if he didn't she'd scour the forest herself searching for him. And when she did find him he would be in for the scolding of his life.

As Arthur rode away he felt better knowing that at least he had gotten her approval, even if it did come with a snarky Gwaine.

* * *

><p>As he and Gwaine searched the forest Arthur found himself slowly breaking in his resolve to find Merlin. He wanted to go back just so that he wouldn't have to put up with Gwaine's ridiculous stories and wouldn't have to listen to the maddening prattle anymore. It briefly occurred to him that Gwaine would make a great torturer. He would have to use any tools other than his bloody-annoying mouth.<p>

But as he and Gwaine rode past he place where he had last seen Merlin—the eerie ravine—all of Arthur's humor died down and even the drunk knight's seemed to be dampened. One glance and it was obvious that Merlin wasn't in there.

That nasty feeling of wrongness started up again and the king realized that some part of him had believed that he was still there. In a way it made sense, after all, when he had last seen Merlin the servant had been incapable of moving and Arthur had had trouble believing that that had suddenly changed. But it must have, for any of the other ways that the manservant could have moved from that spot weren't worth thinking about, even though Arthur _had _in great detail the night before.

His mind was still fresh with the images he had conjured up of Merlin being beaten to death by some mercenaries while the rest of them laughed and cheered. He remembered fearing that he had been captured by an enemy king and tortured for information about Camelot and Arthur. That some great magical beast had carried him off and killed him. That fear had driven Merlin to run away and he had hit his head against a stone and died instantly or he had been bitten by a poisonous snake. Or that he had been captured by some sorcerers who had used powerful and dark magic on him to steal his soul or something. He'd even feared that he might have been captured by Morgana, though, for some reason that didn't seem very likely at all. But he _had_ been thinking of all the worst things that could have happened and the thought of Merlin in Morgana's vengeful and powerful clutches wasn't a very nice one.

Remembering all those things made Arthur want to be sick just like they had the night before, so he endeavored to focus on the searching and on whatever ridiculous story Gwaine was telling. But to his surprise it really wasn't a story, but more like a conversation.

"You know what I like about Merlin?" Gwaine said and Arthur was vaguely intrigued to hear the drunk's opinion of the odd manservant. "He never expects any praise. All these things he does just for the good of doing them—"

Arthur, though he for once was not bored or exasperated with what Gwaine was saying, cut him off with a raised hand. It was a signal that meant he had seen or heard something. There was an unusual sound coming from the trees along the road up ahead. They were knights; they always had to be cautious.

They both got down of their horses and drew their swords. "Declare yourself," Arthur said as he walked slightly towards the sound. There was a squelching sound and a dark figure began to emerge from the trees. Arthur pointed his sword at it, prepared in case it was something dangerous. He watched closely, trying to discover exactly what _it_ was. A man stepped into view and turned towards them and starting laughing. Even through all the mud Arthur could tell who it was.

"_Mer_lin?" Arthur half asked and half exclaimed. And just like that everything changed. The heavy weight that had been trying to crush Arthur for days suddenly lifted. All the despair and pain and guilt went away as if it had never existed. For Arthur looked Merlin over and didn't see one injury and the boy didn't move as if he was weak or dying. All the horrible ideas that had been plaguing Arthur disappeared as it became clear to Arthur that none of them had happened. Merlin wasn't suffering or in pain. He wasn't scared or alone or weak and cold. He wasn't lying in a pool of his own blood and Arthur _hadn't_ been too late to save him. Merlin was fine.

Arthur started walking toward him. "We thought we'd lost you!" he said and then pulled Merlin into a hug. He didn't care that the manservant was covered in mud or that he was smelly, or even that he wasn't supposed to be hugging servants at all. With that one hug Arthur felt the wrongness fade away. His world was righted and cleaned and tidied. Arthur suddenly felt whole again, felt as if everything was the way it should be. Merlin was back. His constant, his loyal friend, the one man he knew he would always be able to trust, the person who always set him straight and supported him even when he didn't deserve it, the ridiculous idiot who had saved him in so many ways was back.

And that was why Arthur never questioned how the boy had had a grievous wound and then it miraculously disappeared a few days later even though it shouldn't have been possible. That was why Arthur was completely and blissfully ignorant to the fact that his servant was under an enchantment that Morgana had cast to kill him. That was why Arthur didn't notice how tired Merlin looked after fighting to regain his free will when he sent his manservant to have "lessons with George". That was why Arthur never thought about or questioned the white bandages on Merlin's wrists from where the rope Morgana had strung him up with had dug mercilessly into his skin or the scars that were eventually revealed when Merlin took the bandages off. That was why the king never asked where Merlin had been for those few long and agonizing—for the both of them—days. The fact was, Arthur was so glad that Merlin was back to being his silly, clumsy, insolent, kind, brave, loyal, trustworthy, selfless, wise, stupid, idiotic self that he never noticed any of these things.

But that was okay. For the time being Arthur didn't need to know about Merlin's magic or about the lengths that Merlin went to in order to protect him. Arthur had promised that he wouldn't leave him and he had kept that promise, and all that without knowing the truth or depth of his servant's loyalty, love, or wisdom. He didn't know about Merlin's magic and yet he still considered him to be the best friend he could ever have, as well as his equal. And one day when Arthur would finally find out about Merlin's magic it would change nothing. They would still be the best of friends, in fact, discovering his magic would only make their friendship better. Arthur didn't need to know for now and _Merlin_ didn't need him to know. A time would come when he would want his king to know the truth, but for now it did wonders knowing that without the magic Arthur still valued him. Merlin had always feared that his true worth lay only in his magic, that he as a person was nothing. But Arthur didn't think so and never would.

Arthur didn't need to know. For the time being he protected the bravest man he had ever met and knew that no matter what happened Merlin would never betray him and he, King Arthur Pendragon, would never, under any circumstances, no matter what new truth he learned, leave him.

_The end._

* * *

><p><em>So that's all, folks. I hope it was worth the wait especially considering that I probably would never have put in the flashback or the scene with the window-watching if I had forced myself to write sooner. For me, those two scenes made my day. The flashback with Merlin telling Arthur what it truly means to be a prince or a king I've actually had in my mind for a while now and it's what I truly believe. I think that when people are given power it is so that they can become even greater servants, or that's at least how I believe my God intended it to be.<em>

_ Part of the reason I put this off was best I knew I would have to study and analyze the episode and copy some bits word for word, which can get a bit tedious. But it was actually funner than I thought. I hope you all liked this and felt it was worth a read. I know that this was heavy on the bromance so I just want to state again that that's all this is. No slash._

_Also, if anyone wants me to write the actual scene where Arthur looks out his window and sees Merlin helping a woman in distress and making her happy please message me. I have a story that will be a series of oneshots planned and it will basically be about Arthur, and occasionally other people, noticing things about __Merlin. It will be a reveal fic of everything except Merlin's magic, though, I may put that in at some distant point, and I could easily write a oneshot about this occurrence. I __plan on starting this story soon so if you like that idea then let me know and I will try to fit it in somewhere._

_So, if you are still reading this incredibly-long a/n then I would like to ask you to review and not to forget to tell me if it was good and what your favorite parts were._

_"For I have overcome the world." _


End file.
